After flying tourists around Botswana for the past few months I have noticed that they can be put into one of the following groups:
1.)Camera Crazy : Spilt into two sub species
a.) Cam Hands : Can be seen with some sort of camera in hand at all times, known to have taken more pictures than seconds in a day
b.) Look How Big Mine Is : This is a rare species that tend to be found crouching close to the ground at twilight hours of the day and have a habit of keeping one eye closed at all times, solitary creatures but have been known to find life time mating partners
2.) Africa Aunties : Have a very distinct call of "Oh My Gosh" when in larger herds, easily recognized by the wine glass in hand and painted faces
3.) OAT/Old Ass Tourists/Old And Trembly's/Old And Tired : Kicked out from other herds and form groups of between 10 and 20. Very well known for their lack of teeth,walking sticks and constant excitement at seeing anything with four legs, including cattle.
4.) Negative Nancys : Females that have a very high pitched call which can go on for hours if their nests are not quite right, a very close cousin to the African Aunties. Fainting spontaneously is not uncommon
5.) Money? Whaaaaaat : You will know when you have seen one of these when you see between 6 and 8 minions tending to their every needs
6.) Ze Germenz : bespectacled with a checklist in hand, known to consume large amounts of red wine
7.) Free Riders/Travel Agents : Nocturnal animals which consume large amounts of alcohol. Specialize in stealing shampoos,soaps and pretty much anything of value
8.) Family foursome : Mating couple with their young who have not learnt the ability to smile
9.) You : Squint eyed and hoard large amounts of food from their home country (Haha got you)
10.) Mr and Mrs I have been coming here before the wildlife was even here: Easy to distinguish as they will tell you so.
11.) Khaki Kings/Walking Cape Union Mart : From the hiking shoes to the mosquito net around their faces, these guys are the most common visitor to Botswana and are usually seen in mating pairs easily distinguished by the binoculars dangling from their necks
Jokes aside, majority of this people are awesome people
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